That odd encounter July 18, 1982

 

She showed up at the strip club tonight, more than a bit of a surprise, as starkly attractive as any of the girls on the stage, yet carrying the baggage of her home down the street, as if I assumed she did associate with such people, especially after her how involved her ex-husband became, calling himself a dancer’s agent, when he really served as their pimp. Seeing her here made me wonder, had he pimped her, too? Had we all been wrong all along about her, and this only increased my interest, as I’ve been haunting these streets like a dog in heat.

I live multiple lives, the supposedly straight-laced slightly older student up at college by day while at night I roam the streets and strip clubs.

So, perhaps she does, too.

Earlier today, I hung out with one of the girls at the campus newspaper, someone whom I’ve been involved with, but far short of anything approaching love. With her, we can talk reason, far from the illogic of this world of drugs, alcohol, sex and perversion.

Seeing this woman here in this bar confuses me since she, the daughter of my former landlord, always exuded a certain sense of innocence, although I admit I lusted after her when she was still married, one of many other men who would have taken up with her had she been available at the time.

And now, as if a gift from God, she dropped into my perverted world where I can get at her, she exploring her own lusts, and instead of swooping down at her, I suddenly feel protective, wishing I could replace her husband.

I did nothing, and after gobbling down a few drinks and overtipping a not very talented stripper, I went home, only to find her knocking at my door just as I began to drift off to sleep, she, vulnerable and needy, looking at me for something far less than salvation, just a night of company.

“Can I stay here tonight?” she asked. “I don’t want to have to drive all the way home.”

I had imbibed too many drinks to pretend morality, feeling all the old feelings from back when she was not available, so lonely by bones ached, and of course, I said “Yes”

 


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